relationships.

Gladys was telling me that we put on weight. LOL. and she was kind of shocked to realised it. But well, I realised it as soon as I came back from Korea. I put on so much weight in Korea! Time to lose some...

Anyways. I was reading some of my previous entries before I left Korea and it is amazing to realise that it was true that my plan was to get married by age 29 and how it has changed since Korea. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I miss the feeling of having someone beside me whom I can talk to. The feeling of having someone special next to me is occurring so rarely in my daily life in Singapore. There is a possibility that I am becoming more fond of traveling because it is when I travel that I don't feel lonely. It is possible that because I am single, most of the time, when I'm in my home country, I tend to increasingly love going overseas. Somehow I was more emotionally attached to people when I was abroad. Whereas in Singapore, I am perfectly fine being single and not be emotionally attached to anyone. It's really... strange.

Mindsets changed within such short span of time. I have changed a lot and it is because I have experienced many things for the past one year. During the CNY holidays, I met some of my friends whom I meet just once a year. From the way they behave, I think they haven't changed a wee bit. Experiences are really quite a key determinant then in forming people's perception about things in life and hence affecting behaviour. Bouf. I am on my way to becoming a psychologist now! woohoo bullshit.

My friend was telling me about a friend of ours who regretted the decision he made to give up on a relationship. I guess regrets are necessary so that we learn to cherish what we have now but... still, humans are never contented with what they have. It's such a stupid vicious cycle that we are aware of and yet we fail to outgrow it; maybe until the age of >40 before we finally realise that life's too short to continuing wasting!

A close uni friend of mine is looking for a gf now after being single for the past 4 years. Lol. yea, it's time. perhaps for me too. but the whole process of finding a date or a boyfriend is too much a chore for me. really. well, my friend said that I may be single now but it could be as fast as lightning that I am marrying somebody as soon as I meet the right one. what a funny way to describe it. LOL.

It is kind of upsetting to know that a friend whom I used to go out with is kind of avoiding me because of fear of awkwardness we may feel if we see each other again. Honestly, to me, it is the past and there should not be anything more than friendship between us now. Perhaps, there is nothing to feel awkward about. Perhaps, I am wrong. Or perhaps, it's good that he cares about it. I just wish for no complications.

Oh putain de merde...